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Shahirah Samsudin
15th January 1992
Johor Bahru, Malaysia

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Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Expiry Date

I guess my blog is nearing its expiry date.
it looks soo dead. Im not posting and none is tagging.
hmph.

its beeen sucha superr long time since i blog rite ?
i didnt even blog about OBS.

Aites i will now since i have time.

OBS - the feeling there was very torchuring.
in fact i still feel it on the very last day there.
i just couldnt get it why ppl say OBS is fun.
well, the truth is, its not. frankly, OBS is not ur fun fun lepak lepak with geng camp,
its a learning camp and god, ive learnt soo much from it.

Im missing my team Cousteau a lot. And my instructor Bibiana.
thanks a lot OBS for letting me realize the mistake ive made all these while.
i love the camp a lot. heh.

we did loads of kayaking and walking and camping duh.
really tired. but it was cool. heh.

i was roasted after that though. but my face's kindda all right now.


back from OBS just meant one thing.
more school more homework more test more stress.
im prepared for it . im used to it i guess.

had physics tests and Amaths test last week.
passing Amaths can make me scream and jump
and break off with lee ryan kay ? DEAL !
yess!

and i want my A1 for physics pleasee.

i told myself to stop setting high expectations and high targets.
like getting a1 for both e and a maths. just give your best.
if i cant be good in maths then i will have to be super good in other subjects.
and i want an A for english. no matter whattt.

aites so on saturday17th february, i went to KL with family.
went out at about 5am. theres like a looot of cars at the immigration area there.
hahaks. shocked ? not really. at least the jam we had was not that long.
ive experienced that took at least 1/4 of a day. serious ! and we reached KL
at about 9 maybe ? yeah.

we went to our normal and standard place - Villa Flora Condominium.
My Aunty Roza's KL's house. so yeah we unpacked and did a bit of cleaning.
and since the day is kind of dark - the sun is nowhere to be seen, i went swimming
with ejal. gereeeek.

then we went out bla3.
no offence, but KL trip is an annual thang for me and family
so every i see the same old thing. i olwaes told myself to shop like
hell once you those bazaar or what they call the pasar malam,
but once i reached there, it seems so boring. heh.
so yeah same old shops same old bazaar same old food.
oh yes same old petronas tower! :)

but gerek laa - whatever im referring to.

so yeah same thing until Monday.
i did not turn black kay. coz i only swim at night.
sooo cooling to the max.

i did buy some things. like watch and wallet.
all pink. heh.
yeah i love pink i love red i love purple.
i love white black Green. hahaks.

hahs. whatever.

we set off from kl on monday at about 12.
and we went to our house in Johore first and then had lunch
and went shopping and had really nice ice creams and johore
and then had an average-ly long jam at the malaysian immigration area
and then reached our house at 6pm.

fast eh ? i mean, accounting that whole journey plus lunch
plus shopping plus staying at our hse for while plus the jam..
and its 6hrs only ? hahahks

oh btw. beign sucha good student i actually brought my thick and heavy Bio
textbook along for my holidays. imagineee ?
so yeah i manage to memorise the whole chapter there.
im left with a bit.

my schedule is soo packed giler.
so on thurday i will have my bio test. and then on friday
my english common test. and from monday to friday
i had common test with TWO important papers each day.
my gawddd. give us a break. pleasee.

im already so busy nowww. im gonna attend tuitions with my cousin
whos a maths teacher , in fact, the HOD of maths of pioneer secondary sch.
hopefully, she can get some sense into me about what Amaths is all about
and oh how do you EASILY go about doing it !

im really hoping to get my amaths paper before this weekend.
and pleasee i wanna pass it pleaseee.
god, help me please.


so yeahh. i had my fun times ?
gonna be serious now.
cheyyy. how serious do you want me to get eh ?


ANDDD
i wanna loseeee as much weight and gain as much height as possible.
pleasee. anyone can tell me whats the fastest way to grow tall and lose weight?

pleasee no answers like "exercise is the best way" or "height is depending on your genes."
or "be happy with what you are" nononono.

sensible answers that can help please.
thank you.


i have a qns for everyone,
for most of you, you know me rite, either in school or through my posts
and stuffs. so i think you more or less know the kind of life i had.
if you had big dreams of being a singer and an actress and you wanna start
from now, are you gonna do it , taking into account the fact that you are so
busy like hell with ur studies ? what are you gonna do ?

hohohoho.


keh last but not least, im sure everyone is waiting for this riteee.
my veryyyy own mini novel, Malicious.

Malicious is a mini novel about the entertainment industry.
the dark secrets behind the stars sucess.
you might think this story is lame, like gawdd how lame can shera get ?
no such things and stuff. but to think of it, are you very sureee that it is not
happening ? are you very sure bout every lil bit and details that we cant see ?
i dont think you can.

i just wanna remind you guys. that im inly 15 yrs old and i dont write
super bombastic stories with really bombastic words or what kay.
so its more like a super longggg composition kay. dont expect really good grammar
and stuffs uh.

and i cant think of better names. if u can, give it to me then.
thanks.

TAkeNOte:
Do not criticise if you dont have anything better compared to what i have.
Click below for the story aites.

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us.


Aitessss. till here people. do enjoy the story and do give constructive comments aites.

LOL
shera<3ryannn sangat

Saturday, February 10, 2007
back!

I dont know where to start ? Loads to sayy.
Keh maybe tag replies first aites ?

Atikah : Oh yess! lee ryan is not only in my survey but also in my heart. :)
Faiz : heyy! i miss you too dearr! :) take care too aites. :)
Farah: I miss you too aites. my fair juliett! :)
Mally: yes yes u hv too hahajs :)
Zara : darls i miss u too kay. darnn loadsss. :)
Hidayati : Aites asap kays.
Syakiirah : Cant stand it babe.
Mally : Firstly thansk for tagging kay. i love you loadss. :) i understand
what you're saying. and it pretty much help me. Thx a loadd!
I usually keep it to myself coz i dont see the difference about telling ppl
about it. and i dont kknwwhether other teachers have time for me or not.
and yes i will think of happy things like you wheneven im down but again
it wont change anything. im just running away from my problems thats all.
thanks again dear mally :)

Zara : first thankz a lot for taking the time to tag n give me advices aites.
love you babe! Yeah i just started out sec 3 and things are tooo fast. Yes
maybe i can take time. but teachers dont. if they say the test paper is tmr
then it is tmr. but for me if i cant understand the stuffs then it means
that i will have to sit for the test with an empty head. then how ? of course
i will fail. i dont wanna trouble ppl including u or other teachers or mr soong
for that matter. and principal. i will try my besttt to smile laa kay. thx again dear.

kethlyn : sorry bout the spelling mistake. i cant help it uhhh. one year is stil
very long. and graduates the qns is a good or a bad one ?

syafiq : which syafiq is this ? but anw thankz fer taggin aites. thats a gd way.
but solving each prob takes such a stupidly long time so it does nothing other than
waste my time. hehehe.

Faiz : thanks alot for reading and taggging aitess! really. i appreciate it. i<3you.
yes teachers and school makes me mad like hellla fuggg! i wanna thanks you
giving me that qoute. i starting to believe it now. and i want it to stay with
me till forever. thanks for beliveing me and trusting me. thanks a load!
yes i know the things youre saying is true. the word is MUCH or MORE.
I guess youre right. Allah gave all this tests for me to increase my strength
i reallly hope its true. hopefullly. :) thanks a lot for tagging. ur message makes
me wanna cry. thx a lot faiz! may allah bless u n ur fam. :)


i loveeee you guys. loadsss kay.
replying tags took a lot of my time so im unsure whether
i hv ample of it to blog about my camp and stuff.
at night maybe ?

i lovee you guys loads.
sometimes life makes me wanna cry.
going for OBS camp. really makes me realize who i am.
and how much ive gone through. and how much more i can go through.
life is tough. but im tougher.
chey.


and fuckit laaa.
kalau the bus driver cant find my OBS cert. really uh
i can break down n cry sey. :)

keh bye
~shera

Sunday, February 04, 2007
oh my god.

Oh my god! You know what. I think My head might as well burst
or something. Im extremely tired im extremely stressed out im extremely
dissapointed. im the extreme of the extremes.

I can get like four or five 1.5 litres bottle if i were to collect
all the tears ive cried this week. Damnnn!

No. no its not anything emotional. its like depressing.
i feel so stressed out tau.
i feel soo tired. i feel like giving up.
i feel like time dont exsist.
i feel like God is testing me to the maximum extent.
i feel like everything is unfair.
i feel like everything is negative.
everything is soo down.
so sad. so depressing.

Chemistry paper was darn hard.
Lost all my Bahas notes.
Spent hous redoing it. While i had tones of hw n revision to do.
Failed my chem paper.
Couldnt cope with A maths E maths n whatever shitty subjects.
Almost failed my emaths paper.

And loadss more happened this week.

A week of dissapointment. Very disspointed of myself.
That i feel too weak to go on. With studies.
and to think of it im only at the 5th week of sec 3.

i really cant cope with all the shit around me seriously.
i cant stand my class for that matter. everyone is soo fast.
everyone is soo clever. and the teachers cant be bothered
about those who understand and those who dont.
i dont wish to mention names here but too bad i cant keep it all inside.
its unfair.

my amaths teacher mrs lim yap is sooo wthhh ?.
shes just so fast and she mainly concerned with fast students.
majority in my class are chinese. and its like as long as they understand
shes fine with it. one of the chinese had a bizzare expression on her face
n she repepated whatever sha just taught. and when i had that "a maths
can kill me , so please explain slowly" expression on my face. she just ignored it.

chemistry was beign a shit too. i dont understand why we must have tests
so early. give us some time damnit! fine if u wanna have tests. but not
when you have badminton tournament at the same time not when we have
debate competition at the same time not when we are settling down at the same time
not when we are feeling all shitty at the same time.

my gawdd. i dont know who to blame.
the menopauses teachers or the buzy like hell us ?or rather me ?

i feel like screeaming at every teacher except mr yap mr chong mr roy and mrs
rebekah lim. i wanna scream at the rest mrs lim yap mr ang mrs whelan etc etc.

mfsss. i feel WEAK. get it ?
my brain felt weak. i dont hv a single sincere soul in class
who will sit down n teach me and i have teachers who cant be
bothered with slow students like me!

might as well drop the subjects rite.
motheref!

i hate sec 3 life currently.
going for OBS tomorrow which i dont think will do much help.
and coming back from OBS just means revising for more tests.
like physics and cracking ur brain like mad for a maths tests which you know
ure gonna fail.


STOPPPPPP!
is all i wanna say.

lets just pause life for a moment n let me have some rest.
i cant cope like this everyday - crying everyday.
dissapointing people everyday. dissapointing myself everyday.
feeling sad upon comparing myself with others everyday.
effit!

school sucks! to the maximum extent you can think off.
i just love english and mother tongue thats all.
im gonna drop the rest.
as if!

if theres 2 subjects that i can drop.
it'll be a maths & chemistry.

i so effing hatee school.
im shocked - how can my maths get so bad ?

people say this is God's test. maybe God wants me to work harder.
HUH ? H A R D E R ? how much harder do you want me to work ?
till ive no more juice in my brain ? till i become passive n snobbish people
who stuck a testtube in their nose ? till what ?

the answer is I CANT. i cant do that. im not strong enough to do it.
i cant cope. i cant cope when teachers release me at 3.25 and the rest
of my frens from other class at 1.40. its not fair. effing not fair.

the reason for going to school and studying fades away if this is what i get
everyday. cry coz im not strong enough. stress coz my brain is too full.
what do you expect men ? whathecukfmenn.



I CANT COPE BEING IN 3E1.
I HATE TEACHERS WHO CANT BE BOTHERED ABOUT ME.
I HATE IT WHEN IM RUSHING TO DO THINGS.
I HATE IT WHEN GOD ASKED TO MUCH FROM ME.
I HATE IT WHEN I FELT LEFT OUT IN CLASS.

I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT SCHOOL.
ITS JUST THE WAY THEY PUT THINGS.
SO EFFING DAMN STUPID.

i kucfingly hate wrss and my amaths n chem teachers for that matter.


SOMEONE READ THIS PLEASE!

urs sincerrely , shahirah samsudin index no.16 of 3e1. :)))))))))))))))