o levels

Should I stop comparing ?
Should I ?

Before I got my results i was effing nervous
I reflected on all the random times i spent
doing any other things except studying and I
think those things included housework.
Cant believe it men.


Anyway i was soo nervous that I told myself
Please please I just want an R4 below 20
please.

Then I got my results I was damn happy coz
it is indeed below 20 andddd i also improved
from my prelims results which i totally didnt
study at all for.

but a few hrs went by a few days went by
and im getting sadder and sadder by day when
I see other people's results which is like
either wayyyyy better or like 2/3 pts better.

the fact thaat im in the first class is the
one that puts pressure on me coz i got like
whatever whatever pts and ppl from 2nd 3rd 4th 5th
class and do wayy better. im so embarrassed w myself.

i know theres no use crying over spilled milk.
but i dont care. its not milk that im crying over.
(ahahaha okay that made me laugh a bit, ahah kay smile ?)

should i stop comparing ?


i know i didnt put 100% effort nor did I put 0%
or wayyy too lil effort. i did whatever I can luh.


and the saddest part is i did a lot of work for
Amaths but its still a B. Emaths is suppose to be like
'ohhhh obvious dist. for everyone luh' and i didnt get it.

and more saddening is that i think im the worst
performer of my class. and i dont know why, maybe
im over sensitive but i think mr yap is hinting me
at how my perf ruined the class's perf as a whole.

damn it.


Im a consistent f9-er all yr and in the end i
got a b4. not good enuf meh ? there are 3 gddamn notebooks
to study from and i didnt even study the last 1.

and then there was the sickening bio which i lost
hope due to prelims. i was expecting a B but got
a C. why ? coz i studied luh. even though i hated the second ntbk
like big time i memorised the whole process of
manipulating their father's grandfather's cow's genes
or smth like that luh.

then in the end JUST Pass.


so kns-ish of them.



on a less dimmer note, despite writing my el
compositions 10 pages (back2back) long and
not reading the compre properly coz its all abt cats?!
(next time cant they do a survey on the phobias
of their fellow students first before setting the
topic of a compre passsage?) i still got a B for it.
and got a grade higher than during prelims. and
furthermore tho i wanted an A badly i tot its impossible
coz of my summary skills or lack of skills rather.
so okay luh, quite happy.

and another pt, is that despite doing so bad
for C.Humans for Prelims i got a dist for it.
im very very very happy for this coz i worked effing
hard for it, i made cards-notes for Geog and memorised
every single word there is on it and btw its almost as thick
as Harry Potter's book okay.


and my concept maps for SS. there are many of them
and i memorised word for word also but i was just
wondering why i didnt get an A1 for it ? haishhhh.


if that happens, that would mean with cca pts,
i meet my target pt for l1r4 and my target pt
for r5.


all because of one goddamn pt.
so kns-ish of THEMMMMMMMMMM. (both cambridge and
MOE plus their family members and neighbours also).


butttt after I read the courses thang, out of all courses
there are in poly and ite, theres 5 tt i cant go, 2 of them are chinese
studies and the other 3 is chemistry courses
which i cant go coz i skipped my chem paper.


which btw made my paper thang i mean results slip
(ahahahah paper thang ?) so damn ugly. like blablabla
then absent! ahahah.


and btw mrs whelan are you reading ?????
DID YOU GET A BLOODY 100% PASS ? UNFORTUNATELY
YOU DID NOT DESPITE THINKING THAT YOU WILL
ONLY IF I DROPPED UR SUBJECT.


Awwwww. poooooooor you.
andddddd who did achieve 100% pass ?
none other mr yap for this subect called
Physics.

anyway i met her thrice alr. damn suay.

writing everything out made me feel better.
but haish i dont know luh, its unfair if i wanna
compare wth those who did better, and also
unfair to compare with those who didnt.


so i compared to my prelims grade ?
well okay then i did better. HAPPPY!

?


Im so egoistic.
but i wna thank mr roy for having faith
in me but his last words to me made me wonderrr,
coz when he gave my results he said this
'hmm okay luh not so bad. can get sumwhere surely.'


wah biang eh.


that made me think i got a l1r5 98526 or smth luh.
and im damn sensitive to that kindda of comment luh.
so now im wondering, is my gap as compared to second
last person in my class THAAAAAAT wide ? considering
in the last person coz EVERY ONE OF MY CLASSMATE
GOT THEIR NAMES ON THE SCREEN.

oh btwww that bring me back to AK Wshop where
i said i wanted 4As and id di work for the 4 okayy.
I got one for MT alr. and soooo i worked hard for
amaths emaths and c.humans.

but I CANT BELIEVE I DIDNT GET FOR BOTH Maths.
wah kao hard pain sia.

anyway back to the thankyous.

mrs rebekah lim. definitelyyyyy. one on one session
w me for comprehension - damn mundane but she still
did it for me.

cikgu memy - definitelyyyyy. coz shes there for 4 damn yrs
so i could get the 1D.

Mr Lim Chiow Huat - for the patience. though
i still cant believe those grades.

and mr poh of course! AHAHAHAHAHAH!
okay out. no link. SKIP!

i think thats about it luh.
im making it clear who i wanna thank coz
these are the ppl that i think i mil ty also
cant repay their deeds.


and another reason is that, i CLEARLY have a damn
list of WHO I DONT WANNA THANK AT ALL
despite whatever grades i get.

Okay fine i'll still thank Mr Yap.
but he's gotta cut the damn sarcasm men.

him : wahhh b4 for phy
me : *smileees*
him : only one.
me : reaaallllly ?
him : the rest b3.
me : *rolls eyes and walked away* (i swear okayyy).


for the rest, NOOOOOOO THANKS AT ALL.
im not being proud okay. that will be damn funny luh
whatss to be proud of my results.


but to me, ALL the teachers that I didnt mention at all
HAVE NEVER NEVER NEVER gave support at all. their teaching
-dont even talk abt it -. i dont wanna list down luh.


or should I ehhhhhh ?



okay nvm. ill send mass email AHAHAHAHA.




so overall, since maths and science isnt my type
of thing, my grades are still okay. and since
i love language my grades are okay also.

but i rly need to stop comparing w others who did better.


*


and the above is not a post okay.
its just ranting.


I WILL GIVE YOU GUYS A PROPER UPDATE OF
MY VERY INTERESTING LIFE AFTER I SHIFT
TO JB.


but that is if Wuzun gives me and the other
stupid girls HIS OWN PROPER UPDATE!


Like hellllllo mr wu, your fans wants to know
smth okay ?

*

i saw him the other day which adds on an extra tinge of euphoria in me.
veryyy handsome. as usual luh.


TP is my first choice! :)



OVERALL IM DAMN HAPPY BUT ONLY IF EVERYONE STOP TALKING ABOUT Os results.
*



My 17th bday is a blast thank you to my girls and of course the only guy.
ahaaha. More tmr or smth kay.

love you all.


<3,shera.

10:51 PM ·